15 Years and Still Etched In Memory-Sept. 11th

15 years have gone by.

15 years my life has gone on but...

those 3000+ that were taken that day are forever etched in my memory.

As do others, I know where I was and what happened. I saw live on TV like others, but it is not something I care to rehash.

15 years have gone by and it is still painful.

 All I care to do is to remember and to never forget them.

~Naila Moon

Mondays Music...Feb, 25, 2013

Wow, here it is the last Monday of February. Time has flown!
Of course it being Monday, that means Mondays Music Moves Me with the train crew hosted by Xmas Dolly. She gets tons of help from Callie, Stacy and Cathy and honorary co-host Becca.

This week we have a theme and that is songs that bring back a good memory and for grins, tell why.  This should be interesting!



First up:  Although I am quite aware this is a Christmas song, it also one of my favorites. My parents had an album that had this song on it. Every year my brothers and I would play all the Christmas albums but this was a favorite that got played over and over.

A typical  family Christmas photo-craziness!

This song reminds me of all our wonderful Christmases together as a family. In 2010 was the last time that we would ever have a Christmas as I always knew them.




Next: This one is an odd one because it is for a game show. I know, crazy right? Here me out.
For as long as I could remember my Grandma loved to watch Wheel of Fortune (she never missed it). My Mother and I often sat down and watched it with her.

When I had my children and they were very young, we would watch it in the evening together. We watched it so much that my children actually learned their letters and how to spell in some ways.

photos source

Tamirisc and I watch it every evening at home to this day.
Again, it is a beautiful memory of family and as Wheel of Fortune is 30 years old, I have grown up with it my entire life.

Listen to the 7 theme songs (if you can believe it).
Note: This is long so just listen to a couple.




Lastly: This song is one I have posted before but it has such special meaning to me.
When I first met Tamirisc for the first time on Labor Day weekend in 2008, we were having dinner at his (then) place. We were listening to a variety of music over dinner when this song came on. He looked at me and I at him and we both said at the same time, "this is our song".

This is us on that long weekend in 2008.

I never had an "our song" in my entire life. It was a beautiful and romantic moment.
Four months later, we would play it for our wedding day.




~Naila Moon

*Make sure to come back tomorrow for Tuesdays Topics. You never know what I am talking about.
~Naila Moon

Thankful Thursday and A Song 2/21/2013 (LINKY)

This week for Thankful Thursday and A Song I want to talk about memories.
Sometimes I wonder what we would do without our memories.
We tend to love them and regret them too.

I have some memories that I would just as soon forget but I also have very beautiful memories that I wish to remember forever.

In any case, all of the things I remember have shaped me in to who I am today and I am grateful for them.



What are you thankful for today?

Link up below and let Xmas Dolly and myself know. We will come and visit.
~Naila Moon

Memories of the heart

"The heart hath its own memory, like the mind. And in it are enshrined
the precious keepsakes, into which is wrought the giver’s loving thought." ~ H.W. Longfellow

 

Have you ever been some place or waiting for something and a memory just floods back at you? It could even be a memory that was long forgotten or maybe even never remembered until that very moment in time?

This is exactly what happened to me today.   I was waiting in my car as my husband was filling up the gas tank. A memory of my Dad came rushing at me at such a pace that I could almost not breathe.

Here is the memory:
A few years back, I was at home in the early evening/afternoon.  I received a call from my doctors office informing me of some test results I had previously that week.  The results were that I was diagnosed with having diabetes type 2.  I remembered that I was totally upset and called my Dad. (I do not remember where my Mom was). 

Over the phone he said not to worry and that I would be alright and "we" would do what we had to do.  He calmed me down and I told him ok. Then I hung up wit him.

I had calmed myself for about 10 minutes when he walks in the door but my Dad.  He had not been at work that long when I called him.  I asked him what he was doing home and he said, "My daughter was upset and I needed to be home with her, so, here I am."

I remember telling him that he did not have to come home but I was glad he did. He spent the rest of the evening just talking with me about whatever.


----------------------
I can honestly say that this memory had been long forgotten and pushed out by so many other not so great memories. Dad and I spent years angry at each other for what now seems so stupid.  I wish that I could have remembered this a long time ago.  Maybe it would have made a difference to me, maybe not.  In any case, I am glad that I remember it because it brings something positive to my life. Something positive about Dad.


I cannot help to think that maybe even Dad...wherever he is now...possibly remembered this time too and wanted me to remember the positive times between us.  I am glad that I did no matter what.

I miss my Dad in ways that are unbelievable now.


~Naila Moon

The blog you never want to write or R.I.P.

My blogger friends,

I have not had the energy to blog in the last week for my focus was on my Dad. He went in to respite care the day before Father's day as my Mom was going to take a much needed rest and small vacation.  I was to take care of him after five days of respite. He had liver, colon, and lung cancer. He also had COPD, a heart condition and two aneurysms.  The man seemed to have nine lives.

I went to visit him everyday.

This Monday he began to take a weird turn. He got progressively worse and on Wednesday he passed away. 

I was the only one with him on the day he took his last breathe. I had just put his favorite singer on, Sarah Brightman, and watched  him say goodbye to this world.  He had no pain and the music made him seem to be even more at peace.

I wish that I could say that gives me some comfort. In some ways it does, in other ways, it does not.

I am grateful that I got to spend the last few days with him even if he could not speak to me. We spoke about a few memories we had together and at one point I saw a tear come from his eyes. Maybe this was a knowing or a wishing that things had been different between us.  Maybe it was just simply a moment of time that had gone by that was good and precious. Truly, I cannot be for sure.

Even as I write this I am utterly sick of the time that was wasted over the years.  The time I spent ticked at him for something that happened 23 years ago. Or the times that I felt so alienated by him. Why did forgiveness not come sooner?


Yet, the last 6 months had been wonderfully great and there in the end, it was just he and I. It was just a father and a daughter spending the time he had left together with only an understanding of love.

I will and do miss my Dad already.  I could never have imagined him being gone from this earth and yet he is. I am blessed in knowing and in what my faith tells me, that he is with me in spirit. That I suppose is where the comfort truly lies.
He was an organ donor so it is also great to know that someones life will be blessed because of his gift.

So, Dad, I love you. I will miss your humor and your endless trivia, but most of all, I will miss your face.  It is not so much as goodbye as see you later.

Peace...Naila Moon

Project 52-Dancing in the Rain

We have had soooooooo much rain here that we are flooding in parts. I had been attempting to get back to my 52 projects/goals that I set for myself this year. As dancing in the rain was one of them...well, just take a look. I only wished that Tamirisc had danced with me.  Have you danced lately?

Peace...Naila Moon

Soothing the soul baby style

One of the many pleasures of moving back home is getting my baby time. I am babysitting twice a week just enjoying everything being Grandma has to offer.

Even though my grand-daughter is a few months past 1 year old, I thought it important for us to create a play space for her in our small apartment.  I remember my Grandma had that for all of her grand-children and it is a nice memory for me and I want to make a memory for her. (and subsequent grand-children ?)

So, Tamirisc and I have a box full of toys and books which is of course at her level to dump and play in as she wishes.  This area is surrounded by some of my puppets and stuffed animals of (uh-hmm- cough) my younger days.

She played hard and we enjoyed our time together but then I think the jazz music I had playing soothed her soul because she finally went to sleep.

It really was one lovely day. I look forward to many more! 


Peace...Naila Moon

In Memory

After a long tough week, my beloved Grandma, Doris Evelyn (Murray) Dunn, passed from this plain of existence to the next at 6:55AM.
It was terribly tough seeing her in a state that was not her and I almost wished that I had not for I only wish to remember her as she was.  I am sure that I will never truly understand why those we love are taken from us.  However, I do know that they live on in spirit and that is comforting.
My Grandma was a truly loving person who saw many trials in her life but over came them with the grace only she could do. She lived through World War II raising four of her 5 children by herself while Paw Paw went to war. She saw one of her twins, Llowell and her second to youngest, Frank (Dink), pass before her as well as the love of her life, my Paw Paw. It is pleasing to know that she is now free to be with them again as that has been a pain she has silently carried.

My Grandma was also a very funny person, not intentionally of course, but some of the things she did made us laugh so hard. I was speaking with my cousins on FB two days ago and we were reminiscening about some of the things she did. Our favorite was her crazy Christmas gifts.
She always made sure all of us in the family had a gift no matter how old we were. However, as good as intentioned they may have been they were still a bit....crazy.
Case in point, when my daughter was in her young teens, my Grandma gave her a little kids fake lipstick and purse set. My daughter just played with it and Grandma was happy. Also, for some reason one year she was obsessed with...underwear. We ALL got underwear, some of us got them even HUGE!
There are so many memories of her that I cannot begin to blog about here. I suppose what I want to convey most is that she was/is loved. Her life with us made us whole and I will miss her most terribly.

I love you Grandma. Goodbye for now and thank you.
Peace...
Naila Moon