Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Since the passing of my Dad four months ago, I have awakened at least once a week with dreams. Sometimes the dreams include him or my Grandma (who passed 6 months ago) or someone from a past that I do not remember.
Sometimes, I hear my Dad calling my name, only to know that it is not possible. However, I answer as if, he was just in the other room.
Sometimes, I awake crying. I generally wake up Tamirisc because the images are so vivid that they upset me or frighten me or I cannot stop crying or...
I keep asking if these images will ever go away? Will I feel like I am back to "normal"? Will I ever stop crying in the middle of the night? Does it get easier? Will I forget their faces?
The answer is always, "yes, it will get easier". However, I do not want to forget what they looked like. I do not want to forget the memories of them. I just want to sleep restfully. I just want to be able to blog about my feelings and not cry while I am doing so. I just want to feel at peace again and not like I am losing my mind.