Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Tuesday Topics-Sleeping in separate room/beds


Hello my lovely bloggers.  I am coming in late afternoon for Tuesdays Topics but you will forgive me. Won't you please?

I could not sleep last night and that only lead to sleeping in late today. Which ironically leads me to my topic today.

Tamirisc and I were in a conversation the other night about sleeping in separate beds or even having separate rooms. Now, I will tell you that I was the one that brought the discussion up. Sometimes these things pop in my brain and I want to know what he thinks.

It all started when we were watching some show on the MeTV network.  This network usually has the old TV shows like "Bewitched", "I Dream of Jeannie", MASH and a myriad of others. You get the gist.

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Anyway, one of the showed the couple in the same room but sleeping in two separate beds. You of course know they did that back then on TV. Think "I Love Lucy". So, that is where it came from.

My thoughts were that it would not be such a bad idea to have different beds in the same room.  I referenced a former in-law of mine that had 10 children but had separate beds.

When I inquired with her about it she informed me that it was due to sleeping habits.  Her husband liked a harder mattress and she softer. She also preferred frilly bedding where he preferred no nonsense.

She went on to tell me that it had been this way since they were first married eons ago. (Mind you, they have 10 kids) She just got bedding that matched but was to the comfort of each of them. They each slept happily and well every night.  Obviously, they put their beds together on occasional liaisons. *chuckles*

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As it turns out, one of their children also have separate beds. Her husband is in the Air Force and is gone for 6-8 months out of the year. They sleep alone most of the time and it is hard when he is home due to comfort. It works for them as well though because they too have 10 kids!

In any case, I could see why it would make some sense to do that but in the same room. Tamirisc seemed to get that one a bit.

Then our discussion turned to separate rooms.

This was something my hubby was not exactly keen about but again, I was able to make my points.

I turned to my Grandparents and parents to make this point.

Although, my Grandparents and parents slept in the same room as I was growing up, they eventually found themselves in separate bedrooms.

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As my Grandparents got older, my Grandpa was often up and down in the middle of the night and restless when he was in bed.  Eventually, my Grandma would move into their guest bedroom just so she could sleep. It became so much so that she eventually just went to bed there every night.  It was a matter of practicality.
Their rooms were made up almost identical but Grandma could sleep and Grandpa could be up and down if needed.

For my parents it was a different matter and frankly, one I could totally get.

For as long as I can remember my Dad always snored and snored loud.  Now, my Mother of course got used to this so, this was not an issue. You would think so because I am telling you, the whole house shook when he went to sleep.

Actually how it came about that they ended up in separate rooms was a matter of decor and the internet. No kidding!

See, my Mother had an infinity to anything Native American and my Dad on the other hand had an infinity to anything Indy Racing.  Also, at the time, my Dad was a smoker and Mom was not. In fact, she could not take the smoking at all anymore. These things did not mesh well.  My Mother put up with Dad's stuff but not in their room.

She started putting his things in the spare bedroom for him to enjoy. Also at this time my Dad learned...well, sort of learned...how to use the internet. He bought himself a WebTV to use.  Do you remember those?

Since he had a TV in his other room to watch racing on, the WebTV was hooked up to it as well.  He would also smoke in there as well. He enjoyed staying in there because frankly, he has his own man cave of sorts.
It was not long before he would simply fall asleep in there too.

Mom on the other hand kept adding more Native American stuff to their room. Eventually, she too got her own computer set up.

Thus separate rooms, the way they liked it, was born.  I am not going to pretend though that it was a completely happy arrangement in the end (a whole 'nother story) but it did work for them for quite some time.  The truth is, they also slept better in the long run.

As it turns out, as the hubby and I continued to talk, his parents also had separate rooms and were decorated the way they liked it.  He could not remember it being any other way.

The fact is, I could see this in its entirety.  Some people would say that maybe that is being selfish. Or maybe there is a problem with the couple. I say, posh!

I actually think it is a matter of two individual people, coming together with maybe different taste and comforts, trying to live in the same household. It does not seem selfish to me to want to continue to sleep well or have things decorated a certain way. Or just the simple need to be alone for awhile or have the bed for a night by yourself.

To me, it does not mean that the couple loves each other any less. No, in fact, I see it as one partner respecting the other in a deeper sense to recognize their individuality.

So, what do you think? Tell me in comments below. I am listening.

~Naila Moon


  1. Excellent blog. As we discussed, eventually we may do this ourselves because of my crazy sleep cycle.

    Will be interesting to see how others respond.

    1. Not only your crazy sleep cycle but that you like it warm and toasty and pitch dark. I of course like it cooler with a night light. ;-)


Thank you for reading and dropping by. I always appreciate your comments. ~Naila Moon